Moving with Change
Lessons from running
I have been a runner most of my life. From racing friends on the playground or in the alley behind my house, to the first Hershey Track meet I competed in as a child, to the marathons and trail runs I would eventually compete in. Running is in my bones and has been a regular practice of mine for over 20 years.
I feel most alive when I am out in the natural world moving my body while running. It has been the way I have processed life, losses, change, grief, joy, stuckness and so much more. Oftentimes it is when insights will come to me, new ideas or different ways of approaching a situation. My phone is filled with random notes that I take down while out running. (some seem like great ideas later, others don’t seem to make any sense :))
Running, especially trail running, has taught me about how to navigate change and transitions. I spend a lot of time thinking about, reading, studying and learning about change. My work as a grief tender and Mindful Grieving Facilitator centers on guiding and witnessing others through the changes associated with grief and loss. Change and loss cannot be separated. With every change, whether chosen or thrust open us, there is some sort of loss. With loss we may experience a new way of being in the world and orienting to the landscape around us.
As I embark on a new training program in Presence Based Coaching, I am deepening into and developing a new skillset of working with clients who are navigating change. Presence Based Coaching is an ICF accredited coach training that brings a somatic (body based) lens to the coaching partnership. Learning about ourselves, where we are stuck, and what we long to bring forth from the inside out.
This resonates so deeply because running has taught me the exact same thing: moving with change is an embodied process requiring deep presence. I can’t think my way through a trail run, a steep hill or rocky terrain. I FEEL my way through, exquisitely present with each impulse, instinct, sensation and connection to my external senses.
As I was running the past two days on a couple local trails, I encountered a wide variety of terrain. Here in Wisconsin, we are slowly entering spring, which means as the snow melts and things thaw out there might be a mix of ice, slush, and mud on any given day.
Yesterday I ran first thing in the morning when the ground was still quite cold and frozen. I made my way onto a familiar portion of the Ice Age Trail and encountered large areas of ice. The entire trail was blanketed in slick sheets of glistening ice. I tried to run, attempting to balance on the edge of the ice and grass but it just didn’t work. I slowed down and walked, slipping and gripping as I went. I could feel the urge in me to move quicker, to GO, GO, GO, to keep up the pace I thought I “should” have.
Today I ran on another trail and found myself wading through thick, sloppy, gloppy mud. As if on repeat, I tried to run my “normal” way and found myself sidelined again and again. What had worked previously on a different trail just wasn’t a possibility here. I was slipping, losing my footing and having to move MUCH slower than I wanted to. I eventually left my intended path and found a new route, exploring some trails and paths I hadn’t moved through before. I found myself looping, winding, and zigzagging around. At one point I got kind of lost and looped back, finding myself in a place I had already been.
I don’t think the metaphor is probably lost on any of us at this point. THIS is what moving through change may feel like. It’s obvious yet also bears attention and remembering because we are often given a narrative that shows change/loss/transition as a linear process of moving from beginning to end. The Five Stages of Grief, the 4 steps to transform your life, the 3 easy hacks to develop a new habit. And then when you flounder, end up sidelined, descending in darkness, or struggling in an uphill battle it feels like YOUR FAULT.
So, I remember and remind myself and others that nonlinear change is inevitable, in fact it is the only constant in life. (thank you to Buddhism for the teaching of impermanence). Change is cyclical and circular like the seasons and the expressions in the natural world. A reminder that soul level change and transformation requires us to SLOW down. The pace of capitalism and hustle culture is not the rhythm and cadence that meaningful, soulful change occurs at.
“Slow' and 'down' are modes of the soul; they are connective modes, ways of keeping connected to oneself and to one’s environment.
'Slowing downwards' refers to more than simply moving slowly, it means growing down towards the roots of one’s being.
Instead of outward growth and upward climb, life at times must turn inward and downward in order to grow in other ways.”
-Michael Meade
The ice, mud, hills and rocks remind me this every day out on the trails. Yes, I could run faster and more efficient on a straight path on the sidewalk but there is a richness, depth and aliveness to navigating the uncertain, wild, and unexpected terrain on the trails. I don’t always know what is coming next or what I will encounter but I am given an opportunity to stay open, present and connected. To slow down when necessary, to find my strength as I climb a hill, and to be in awe of the birdsong and giant oak trees.
As I return to the book Emergent Strategy by adrienne maree brown for the second time, the teachings land a bit deeper, more embodied.1 One way adrienne maree brown sums up Emergent Strategy is by saying it is “how we intentionally change in ways that grow our capacity to embody the just and liberated worlds we long for” or “shaping change, changing worlds.”
The way we navigate change in our personal lives is not separate from how we navigate change in social, political and cultural contexts.
I think RIGHT now the reason I feel so compelled to deepen into an embodied understanding of moving with change is because we are collectively living through a time of deep uncertainty, massive scale change and collapse (truthfully, we have been living through this for quite a while but feels amplified in the current Trump era). It is coming at us from all angles every day. And in my experience, many of the changes feel scary, unwanted, oppressive and anxiety producing. I find myself feeling paralyzed, collapsed or in reactionary rage states.
Then I remember Emergent Strategy and adrienne maree brown’s wisdom of fractals-what I/we practice at the small scale I/we practice at the large scale. How I navigate change or unexpected experiences while running or parenting or while driving is a small-scale example of how I might approach change, transition and loss when the stakes are higher and the scale is larger. I have countless opportunities each day to practice moving with change in a skillful and life affirming way.
Today as my usual path wasn’t available to me, I practiced intentional adaptation, another concept of Emergent Strategy. adrienne writes of intentional adaptation as
“the combination of adaptation with intention, wherein the orientation and movement towards life, towards longing, is made graceful in the act of adaptation. This is the process of changing while staying in touch with our deeper purpose and longing.”
My gut reaction to change is often to react or respond from my conditioning and habit nature, whether that be anger, fear, judgement or anxiety. Even today while running, I was annoyed that MY Plan for running was derailed, it wasn’t going like I wanted or imagined.
There is something so beautiful and spacious about intentional adaptation and the agency inherent in the process. My body releases a little as I consider adapting to change while staying connected to my intentions, longings and commitments. Staying connected to purpose while changing course. Finding CHOICE even amidst uncertainty, chaos and loss. Remembering again and again my commitment to personal and collective liberation that informs how I show up in the world in small and larger ways.
I ended my run today at the Big Oak, the beloved tree that I visit often. A steady, sturdy, ancient and wise presence in my life. When I sit or lean against this tree I am transported into Deep Time, a concept inherent in most Indigenous and traditional cultures and peoples, and also a framework in The Work That Reconnects from Joanna Macy. Deep time is a place where I remember my belonging in the wider tapestry of life. Remembering that I inhabit a lineage of ancestors seven generations back and the future ones seven generations forward. I am landing HERE within a much larger stream of change and possibility. I can zoom way in and way out from this space and orientation.
“Deep Time work has arisen for that express purpose: to refresh our spirits and inform our minds by experiencing our present lives within larger contexts of time.”
Joanna Macy and Molly Brown
I lingered at the Big Oak, taking in her beauty and immensity, her sturdiness and steadiness. I breathed in the emerging scent of spring, of new life and possibility while also shedding tears over the heart-breaking devastation, violence and destruction that is unfolding in the world. I SLOWLY walked back to my van feeling completely transformed and utterly the same. Grateful to be able to walk the spiral path of life, loss, transition and change another day.
Wishing you so much love and ease today!
What does moving with change feel like to you?
What practices allow you to move through change, transition and loss while staying connected to your center and intentions?
Where do you experience your connection to Deep Time?
Join me for an upcoming virtual offering:
Mindful Grieving 6 Week Yoga Therapy Program
More info and registration info HERE
Program begins Monday April 7th 6:00-8:00 PM CDT
If you haven’t read this book, I highly recommend it. The principles and teachings are incredible and apply to personal and collective change and transformation. I LOVE all of her work, but this is her foundational text that most of her other books build upon.